The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon has become an extremely popular night-time talk show due to Fallon’s humor and interaction with viewers, society, and those of higher social standing (famous people).
One thing Fallon does every Friday is a skit called Thank You notes. Jimmy thanks people, places, and things that have recently happened in the world, such as global warming, tacos, or kittens, just to thank them. So, in honor of his truth and hilarity, I feel it is only necessary to have an agriculture rendition called “Farmer Thank You Notes.”
Thank you, premature spring weather, for making farmers believe planting season is right around the corner, only to be bombarded with snow and freezing temperatures once again.
Thank you, halter-broke show heifer, for completely forgetting everything you learned during my showmanship class and making me look stupid.
Thank you, duct tape, for being a quick fix to nearly all of my problems. Without you, I would have less time to complain about all the other things I need to get done.
Thank you, dairy cows, for making milk, one of the main ingredients in ice cream, allowing me to justify it being healthy every time I eat it.
Thank you, belt loop, for getting caught on every single thing as I walk by it but somehow never being there when I’m trying to put my belt on.
Thank you, WD-40, for being the national cologne of farmers everywhere.
Thank you, trailer hitch, for making it look as though my parents abuse me.
Thank you, baling hay, for allowing me to never have to set foot in a weight room.
Thank you, horses, for being independent and putting your foot down. My, how the tides have turned.
Thank you, goats, sheep, and llamas, for being so different and yet, always confusing the general public on what you really are.
Thank you, farm dog, for constantly barking all night, leaving me to question whether or not we are in any real danger.
Thank you, windmills, for making it a lot harder to do things outside with all the “wind you’re bringing in.”
Thank you, livestock, for finding the 3-foot hole in the fence and escaping into the field, but not running through the 20-foot gate opening when I am trying to move you.
Thank you, random object that’s been lying in the corner of the barn for 5 years, for continuing to remind me that you may be valuable and that I am sure I will find some sort of use for you some day
Thank you, weatherman, for telling me it wasn’t going to rain. Now my newly cut and raked hay is wet from the rain that you told me wasn’t going to come until next week.
Thank you, baling twine, for always being there and supporting me on days when I forget my belt.
Thank you, farmer tan, for giving me the gift of a permanent shirt.
Thank you, baby lamb, for taking 3 hours to finally catch on to nursing, the ONE thing you were put on this Earth to do.
Thank you, cattle, for making me a revolutionary and tagging things before it was cool.
Thank you, goats, for beginning to do yoga making my children beg me endlessly to get one.
Thank you, pasture-grazing cattle, for tearing up the fence I just fixed because you were going to starve to death if you didn’t get that blade of grass on the other side.
Thank you, baby pigs, for being absolutely adorable. Until someone tries to touch you. Or look at you. Or thinks about holding you. Or breathes wrong.
Thank you, livestock, for not judging me when I sing and dance at you during chore time.
But most importantly, Thank you, Lord, for blessing me with the life of a farmer.
Iowa State University