1. Read only biased news sources
To really misunderstand modern food production, it is essential that you only read Mother Earth News, Natural News, and whatever links your local natural chiropractor shares on Facebook. Absolutely do not read anything that might pass as a reputable news source – scientific journals, census data, peer-reviewed studies and all papers from state Universities are strictly off-limits.
2. Believe everything you’ve read without questioning
Whatever tidbit you’ve gleaned about food production, food sources, farmers, or labels, believe that tidbit as law and do not read or think any further. Once you believe you understand something fully, there simply is no room for questioning.
3. Refuse to engage in meaningful dialogue
If someone – who may even call themselves a professional or an expert on the subject – wants to talk further about your beliefs, refuse. There’s not enough time in the day to talk about what you already know – especially with someone who disagrees with you.
4. Call anyone who disagrees with you a shill and question their integrity
And lets face it – if they disagree with you, they are likely paid by Big Ag or Big Food. There’s absolutely no way that anyone with half a brain cell could ever disagree with you. Call them a shill and don’t speak to them again. And if you can throw out a personal bomb like maybe suggesting that they don’t even love their children and wish them dead, all the better.
5. Forget everything you ever learned in eighth grade science
If you really want to misunderstand conventional food production, you’ll need to forget everything you knew about basic science. No room for plant biology, genetics, DNA, or how things grow in this debate. You’ll want to remain as ignorant as possible on all things science – including scientific consensus. Especially scientific consensus. Also, doubt scientists and their motivations – for more on this, see number 4.
Obviously this post is sarcastic and obviously I pray that no one follows my five easy rules.
The fact is, advocating for farmers and modern food production is exhausting. I’m tired of seeking out meaningful conversations and getting NaturalMama news stories as proof of an incorrect viewpoint. I’m tired of being attacked as an idiot (or a shill, GASP!) and being asked to suspend basic scientific knowledge while I attempt to cognitively understand where the other person is coming from.
If you happen to be a person reading this who seeks to engage in meaningful debate while looking to science and unbiased data for answers, here are the places you can start:
Farm Hats – a Facebook group with tons of farmer selfies from real farmers
And, of course, you can email me with any question, any time. I LOVE a great debate and a differing viewpoint, but please – for the love of all that is holy – don’t call me a shill.